March 18, 2013

like a rock star

It was wild Friday night. Loud music. Glittery clothes. Sweaty dancing. And 8 squealing girls. Trio Fitness, the business I run with this hotass, does (among other things) private Zumba Fitness parties. We host a theme party every six weeks or so for our students, we do milestone birthdays or girls nights out or we [...]

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March 14, 2013

always, maybe

Thing Two believes in Leprechauns. For real. Like, for REAL for real. She believes with her whole heart that her class is going to trap this little beast tomorrow and she has a plan to look for the missing shoe while all of the other kids are working in stations. She wants to be the [...]

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March 7, 2013

like trying to hide in plain sight

So yesterday I was in kind of a mood, huh? Yeah. I guess I’ve been holding on to that one for a while. As usual, when I come here and blurt something out, you all rally around me. “I just want to tell you how awesome you are.” And I totally just want to listen. [...]

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March 7, 2013

he gave a mouse a cookie

If you give a girl a blanket, she’s going to wrap herself up tight. When she wraps up tight, she’ll probably imagine you kissing her forehead. Which will make her feel pretty, so she’ll pull out her gray and silver scarf. Then she’ll want to look in the mirror because it’s been a long time [...]

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March 6, 2013

still fat, still sad, Zumba, blah blah blah

So the other day a guy I know said “dang girl, I can’t believe you teach so many classes. How are you not stick skinny?” I’ll let that sink in for a moment before I continue. … … … So yeah. Still fat. Nothing new to report on that front. Next up, those of you [...]

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March 3, 2013

big love

Tyrone was my first. Well, the first one I really loved, anyway. Our relationship was honest and pure and full of discovery and smiles and happiness. Without Tyrone, there would be no MrsFatass. He laid the foundation for me to become the snarky, witty, hot mess you catch the occasional glimpse of on Twitter . [...]

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February 5, 2013

dump trucks

Dear Thing One; Well. We made it. We made it to 10! There were times over the past decade where I thought lord, let us just make it to 10. Those long nights that you didn’t want to sleep. The asthma attacks. Arguments. That time you covered yourself from head to toe in Vaseline. But [...]

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January 28, 2013

#Dietbet

So, for some of us out in the blogosphere, this is the last few days of Roni’s New Year Dietbet. DietBet is kind of a cool motivational thing where we all pay in a few bucks (in this case $20) and we work together to lose 4% of our body weight in a month. And the [...]

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January 22, 2013

#GroupFitnessProblems

So, being the chubby fitness instructor not only means I have a thick waistline, it means I have a thick skin. Regularly, the more voluptuous instructors have to work to win over the respect of students (that one is pretty easy) and colleagues (that one is not). While Zumba is very come as you are, [...]

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January 14, 2013

commit

I’m a party planner. I’ve always enjoyed planning and executing special events. In college I actually had a job throwing birthday parties at a swank health club in Lincoln Park. My name tag said Sue Bennis, Party Coordinator. I still have it somewhere because I just happen to think it’s very fitting. And also because [...]

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