don’t call it a comeback

by MrsFatass on April 16, 2018

I honestly think I’ve used this title before, maybe several times, because A. weight loss journeys are full of fits and starts comebacks, and 2. April is this the 9 year blogaversary month for this little rag, and in NINE YEARS I’m sure I’ve staged a LOT of comebacks. See, for those of you who haven’t been around since the beginning, I fired up this little corner of the blogosphere back in 2009. 2009! That was before Twitter and IG and Snapchat. That was the year Obama first took office. That was back when people still had flip phones (ME!) and Blackberrys (also me!) and when Kanye interrupted Taylor’s acceptance speech at the VMAs. Pretty much the only things we had in 2009 that are still around now are Grey’s Anatomy and this here blog.

This started solely as a weight loss journal. I led with my wit and my Christian faith, both of which I still possess, albeit in different incarnations. I had just moved from my hometown in Flint, Michigan to the middle of nowhere Wilson, North Carolina, where I was sad and lonely and didn’t have friends yet and also I was fat. I found my voice basically writing about how to throw yourself into ridiculous fitness situations, survive them, and then make them your bitch. I ALSO made The Bikini Promise, which I have mostly kept, and I was always willing to be honest with you about sharts, hemorrhoids, and flop sweat.

It was with this blog and you readers that I became a fitness instructor, that I opened a fitness studio, and that I taught my most favorite master class of all once a year at Fitbloggin. And we laughed together every step of the way.

It was also with this blog that I stumbled, kind of let my life fall apart, got one diagnosis, lost my sense of humor, got really emo and dramatic, later on closed the fitness studio, got another diagnosis, and kind of flailed along for a while without much direction or oomph.

There were flashes of comebacks. A joke here or there. But really, once people in my real life found out about my blog, and after a few years of really hard shit, I got to the point where I thought I’d let it go. Shut it down and just move on.

Well, guess what guys? My family just moved! And I live in a new place and am relatively anonymous again! And I don’t really yet have a lot of friends down here, and I’m still fat! So how about we try to go back to writing again!! I EVEN HAVE A NEW SHART STORY AND IM NOT EVEN KIDDING. I totally sharted the other morning sitting on the couch drinking my Teeccino and it was one of those “I think this is going to be nice and safe and quiet” and about point two seconds into it I’m like “OH WAIT A MINUTE I THINK THAT MIGHT BE POOP” and sure enough, I had to take a quick shower and get into fresh pajamas and SEE ITS JUST LIKE OLD TIMES!!

Also, after a year of laser focusing on recovering from the great Adrenal Fatigue Crash of 2017, I feel good. Actually, I feel GREAT. I’ve been 110% disciplined about my sleep recovery (because, DUH, I love sleep!), I’ve been about 98% disciplined about proper supplementation, about 95% disciplined on stress management, and about 85% disciplined about nutritional changes. I feel like my body is healing, and I feel like when I push it to do physical activity, while my endurance is SO not what it was before, I feel like I’m able to recover and repair what I DO do. (I said do-do).

Since the end of last year, I’ve taken a couple of swings at weight loss, and when I’ve been super diligent, I’ve taken off a few pounds. But super diligent has been hard. While I’ve been able to focus well on the WHAT I’ve been eating or eliminating from my diet the last year, I have NOT focused on portions and tracking and all that nonsense and lets be honest, I was never all that good at it in the first place. Obvi. Had I been really good at follow through, I imagine I would have eventually lost the weight I wanted to lose when I started writing here 9 years ago. And now, with a little more age and a lot more shit thrown at me life experience, it’s a different journey getting the pounds off.

I sat down with Trophy Husband a few weeks ago and I said that even though I should be feeling really good about where I am in my recovery, there are still some lingering BAD feelings. A year ago I was depressed that I could no longer do what my clients could do. I was a sham. For real. Like, when I was winning an award for Favorite Fitness Professional, I was hiding the fact that I could no longer run a mile. I could no longer work out WITH my groups. I was constantly hiding how out of shape I really was. Growing more and more exhausted and crashed every day.

And today, I still feel like I can’t do what my clients are doing. Why come to me for accountability when I still can’t run a mile? When I still get winded on a flight of stairs or when carrying my chair and beach bag back to the car? I told TH that I was ready to make a comeback. In a SERIOUS way.

Now, for years you’ve all heard me yammering away about eating real food and no gimmicks and there is no product on the market that can replace healthy eating and an active lifestyle and I MEAN that. But I also know that sitting on the bed with tears running down my cheeks talking to Trophy Husband, I felt just as lost and overwhelmed as many of the clients I’ve coached who don’t even know where to START on day one. I wanted to throw everything I had at something for ONE MONTH to see if I could make an impact on my fitness capabilities and my weight. I’ve mentioned WLS surgery to him here and there and he’s willing to support me through it, but I wanted to give it one more go on my own before scheduling a consultation, and the first step was a ONE MONTH 100% COMMITMENT to see if I could maybe get some of my mojo back on my own.

Fitness-wise, I’ve got to take my leisurely dog strolls and kick them in the ass because I’m doing the Space Coast Half with this hotass in November. Fitness Goal: CHECK.

Weight management-wise, I’m using another a nutrition system as my guide. I called an old friend from high school who is my age, who is also an athlete, who has also birthed babies, and who loves the University of Michigan as much as I do manages a life I would say is similar to my own, who I knew had made some serious lifestyle changes that also resulted in physical changes, and who was using Isagenix products to get her where she wanted to be. I asked her about 150,000 questions about the products (over a couple of MONTHS, poor thing) and read every single list of ingredients for every single product that I would potentially use, because I didn’t want even ONE THING in there that is something I’ve eliminated over the last year. After fine-tooth-combing things like a madwoman, I decided to order the 30 day system. Oy. Weight Management Goal: CHECK.

So, guess what, sports fans? THIS IS ONCE AGAIN A WEIGHT LOSS BLOG!!!

Yep. I’ve lost 14 pounds. WHOOP WHOOP!

Okay, let me qualify a few things. First, the time-of-the-month and the Chinese Food and Beer Fueled NCAA Tournament Finals Weekend meant I went in to this endeavor with some Noah’s Ark level water retention. (does that even make sense?). So I know that buckling down meant the first WOOSH of weight is not all legit. But I will say this; I’m at the lowest weight I’ve been since the aforementioned Great Adrenal Fatigue Crash of ’17, and I’m at the lowest I’ve ever been able to get on my own since actually TRYING again. If I can keep it up, I’ll buy another month. Simple as that.

Here’s what I love about my Isagenix investment so far:

  • The ingredients. I have gone from swallowing almost 30 pills a day (no pharmaceuticals, mind you, but supplements/vitamins/herbs) to swallowing 11. PLUS I’m incorporating many new herbs that I wanted to include along the way but hadn’t.
  • No braining. I just do what I’m told. On Sundays I prep what I will use for my 200 calorie or less snacks. And I plan some dinners for the week. I’m able to keep my carbs low, I’m able to continue to be gluten and dairy free, even my macros haven’t changed all that much. I have 2 meal replacements, 2 snacks (I don’t use their snacks, I prep my own) and a meal.
  • Not hungry. I’m really not. I occasionally THINK I am, or I occasionally THINK I miss chewing. But when I get all mindful and aware during those times I realize that it’s kind of just habit, not hunger, making me think about reaching for something.
  • Weight Loss. Fourteen little MFers gone.
  • There is nothing about it that has impeded any of my healing progress. There is nothing speedy, nothing making me anxious, nothing making me poop my brains out (well, there WAS that shart incident but to be fair I’ve been sharting for years, so who’s to know it was the Isagenix, right?)

Here’s what I don’t love:

  • It’s a little pricey. The 30 day system plus the additional greens powder I bought was a little over $300 for the month. But if it works, so be it. And if it continues to be a good replacement for lots of the pills and potions I’ve been swallowing, so be it. Thus far the ROI has been high and I’m happy with how I’m feeling.
  • It’s one of those deals where the company not only wants you to USE it, they want you to SELL it. That always makes me protective of my friends and readers because lets be honest, if you’re part of a weight loss/healthy living community, somebody is ALWAYS trying to sell you SOMETHING. If it continues to work well for me, I’ll continue to share my experience. If you want to know more, we’ll talk. But if you don’t, that’s cool too.

Okay, ya’ll. My OFFICIAL weigh in days are usually Thursdays, so I’ll do another progress post then. If you follow me on IG (and if you don’t, ask yourself WHY and then come find me over there), then you know that in just over 24 hours I’ll officially be unemployed for the summer. My plan is to focus on health (see above), finances (yeah, by selling stuff but ALSO by studying for my TEACHER CERTIFICATION EXAM because WATCH OUT!!! MrsFatass is molding young high school minds nowadays. And also? I’ve been doing quite a bit of virtual accountability/health coaching and I might talk about it here too. So don’t tune me out. And also on creativity. I’m writing. Not just here, but something that is maybe going to end up being book-ish? I don’t know but I have someone who checks in with ME once a month and who is waiting for me to have something for her to EDIT so I need to wrap up this blog post so I can work on that, too.

Also, along the way, there should be some fun new podcast episodes up over at didijusteathatoutloud? and I’m also going to go to the beach a LOT. Only I’ll be drinking my greens instead of beer.

Okay. So that’s what’s happening here. What’s been up with YOU?

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{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Donna April 16, 2018 at 7:48 pm

ALL good things!!! Yay! So happy for you! Keep kicking ass!


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