life after

by MrsFatass on December 15, 2015

So, like any self-respecting obsessed business owner, making the decision to close the studio left a big hole in both my heart and identity. If I wasn’t half of trio (math!), who was I going to be?

I didn’t have the luxury of a long period of soul searching. I didn’t get to go away for a while in order to come back reinvented. I didn’t really even get a weekend to hide away under the covers and mope about the decision to close Trio Fitness. I needed to figure out the next step and I needed to figure it out fast.

But I had no idea where to start.

Attacking it with my business brain was a first resort. A RESUME! I must write a resume! A Google search of fitness resumes, a couple hours of scribbles and typing and editing and proofreading and BLAMMO! MrsFatass had a fitness resume.

No matter how hard I tried I couldn't squeeze all that awesome into one page.

No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t squeeze all that awesome into one page.

Next up, a cover letter. A cover letter! I’m a writer! I can write a letter!

Dear Sirs,
You will notice from my resume that I am a rock star group fitness instructor who just so happens to also have a fat ass and even though I know I shouldn’t make excuses for it because fit comes in all shapes and sizes, I sometimes become overwhelmed with insecurity because if I’m doing all the things I coach others to do, why am I still so dang, uh, curvy?
Also, I am the mother of two and wife of a Trophy Husband with a very demanding new job and I’ve worked for myself for years so I’m going to need autonomy and flexibility and I don’t ever want to miss a basketball game or a class party and also I need to be home when the kids get off the bus so I can fix them a healthy snack and hear about their day.
Can we make this happen, like, ASAP? Kthanks.
MrsFatass

That’s where my business brain coughed a very sick little cough and powered down for the day. No way was someone who didn’t already know me going to hire me to work in fitness.

So I began thinking about the things that I missed. Like, when the stresses of owning the business were beginning to snowball, what were the things I started letting go of?

  • Being present at home. I was always marketing, communicating, brainstorming, social media-ing. I was also working an early morning shift, a lunchtime shift, and an evening shift almost every weekday, which meant family time was squished, distracted, and sometimes just lost.
  • Being present at church. Sundays became the only day I didn’t teach a class, and often were the only day in a week where I didn’t have to perform a bunch of work related tasks so it became Pajama Day instead of being a time for worship.
  • Being present with my clients. Planning classes and learning new choreography was top of my priority list, but would get pushed down so far of the actual TO-DO list because of other things that I was often concentrating more on the choreo than the connection.

So. I woke up the next morning and I stayed in bed for a minute before hopping out to get ready for work. And? I prayed.

Please help me.

Then I grabbed my phone and my tennis ball and went to the bathroom as I do every morning to scroll facebook and roll my sore feet while I sit there because gosh darnit I am a MULTITASKER baby and I kid you not this was at the top of my feed:

Photo Dec 15, 9 15 21 AM

Blink. Blink Blink.

Now I knew who to write a letter to. And I knew that I could lay the insecurity down and just be me. I printed things up and licked the stamp and sent it on it’s way to the gym on the other side of town.

And waited.

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