life after

by MrsFatass on December 15, 2015

So, like any self-respecting obsessed business owner, making the decision to close the studio left a big hole in both my heart and identity. If I wasn’t half of trio (math!), who was I going to be?

I didn’t have the luxury of a long period of soul searching. I didn’t get to go away for a while in order to come back reinvented. I didn’t really even get a weekend to hide away under the covers and mope about the decision to close Trio Fitness. I needed to figure out the next step and I needed to figure it out fast.

But I had no idea where to start.

Attacking it with my business brain was a first resort. A RESUME! I must write a resume! A Google search of fitness resumes, a couple hours of scribbles and typing and editing and proofreading and BLAMMO! MrsFatass had a fitness resume.

No matter how hard I tried I couldn't squeeze all that awesome into one page.

No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t squeeze all that awesome into one page.

Next up, a cover letter. A cover letter! I’m a writer! I can write a letter!

Dear Sirs,
You will notice from my resume that I am a rock star group fitness instructor who just so happens to also have a fat ass and even though I know I shouldn’t make excuses for it because fit comes in all shapes and sizes, I sometimes become overwhelmed with insecurity because if I’m doing all the things I coach others to do, why am I still so dang, uh, curvy?
Also, I am the mother of two and wife of a Trophy Husband with a very demanding new job and I’ve worked for myself for years so I’m going to need autonomy and flexibility and I don’t ever want to miss a basketball game or a class party and also I need to be home when the kids get off the bus so I can fix them a healthy snack and hear about their day.
Can we make this happen, like, ASAP? Kthanks.

That’s where my business brain coughed a very sick little cough and powered down for the day. No way was someone who didn’t already know me going to hire me to work in fitness.

So I began thinking about the things that I missed. Like, when the stresses of owning the business were beginning to snowball, what were the things I started letting go of?

  • Being present at home. I was always marketing, communicating, brainstorming, social media-ing. I was also working an early morning shift, a lunchtime shift, and an evening shift almost every weekday, which meant family time was squished, distracted, and sometimes just lost.
  • Being present at church. Sundays became the only day I didn’t teach a class, and often were the only day in a week where I didn’t have to perform a bunch of work related tasks so it became Pajama Day instead of being a time for worship.
  • Being present with my clients. Planning classes and learning new choreography was top of my priority list, but would get pushed down so far of the actual TO-DO list because of other things that I was often concentrating more on the choreo than the connection.

So. I woke up the next morning and I stayed in bed for a minute before hopping out to get ready for work. And? I prayed.

Please help me.

Then I grabbed my phone and my tennis ball and went to the bathroom as I do every morning to scroll facebook and roll my sore feet while I sit there because gosh darnit I am a MULTITASKER baby and I kid you not this was at the top of my feed:

Photo Dec 15, 9 15 21 AM

Blink. Blink Blink.

Now I knew who to write a letter to. And I knew that I could lay the insecurity down and just be me. I printed things up and licked the stamp and sent it on it’s way to the gym on the other side of town.

And waited.

Post to Twitter Post to Facebook Post to StumbleUpon

{ 0 comments… add one now }

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: