let’s dance

by MrsFatass on January 5, 2015

THING ONE: Sitting on the couch with his blankie under a blanket, eyes wet and glassy.
MRSFATASS: Honey! You okay? What’s the matter?
You’ve carried that blanket around since you were a year old. Now you’re only a head shorter than I am, and have strong square shoulders and long legs, but darn if you don’t still look like my baby from time to time.

THING ONE: Wiping at eyes. Nothing!
MRSFATASS: You sure?
You’re so not good at hiding it.

THING ONE: Blink. Blink.
MRSFATASS: Come here.
Come on my sweet boy. You don’t have to be sad by yourself. Come snuggle your mama and let me remind you how powerful the hug of a parent is.

THING ONE: Stuart Scott died, mom.
MRSFATASS: I know, sweetheart. I saw it this morning as soon as I woke up. It’s sad, huh?
It’s funny how things can happen to people we’ve never met, but how we can be so deeply affected by it. It’s happened to me, too, baby. People who I only know through their blogs or their writing or their photos. Or people who I watch on TV. And enjoy. And feel like I’ve come to know.

THING ONE: He was funny. Do you think he knew he was going to die when he was at the ESPYs?
MRSFATASS: I think he probably knew, yes. But it was important for him to be there.
Sometimes when people know their end is coming, they get a burst like a second wind or something. So that they can handle a few things before they go. I think that’s God, baby, helping us do some of the things we need to do before it’s time for heaven.

THING ONE: I remember Big A, but I don’t think I got as sad as you and Dad when he died.
MRSFATASS: You were so young. It’s okay. I know you miss him and enjoy remembering him with us, but when you’re five I don’t think you’re supposed to experience things like adults do. You’re too young to process it all.
And I hate it. I hate that now you’re old enough to really feel what happens when somebody dies. I hate it.

THING ONE: Mom?
MRSFATASS: Yes baby?
THING ONE: I don’t want you to die.
MRSFATASS: Oh honey, you don’t have to worry about that. I’m here hugging you right now. And I love you.
THING ONE: But anyone can get sick. Right? Like, it could pretty much happen like any time.
Yep. That’s totally true. Anything CAN happen like any time.

MRSFATASS: Yes baby, that’s true. But you don’t have to spend any time worrying about it. You know why?
THING ONE: Why?
MRSFATASS: Because no matter what, you know I love you and I know you love me. We say it to each other when we wake up, when one of us leaves the house, when we are texting, when we are getting ready for bed at night. If for some reason something awful did happen, you’d always know that the last thing we said to each other was I love you.
THING ONE: Snuggling in for another hug.
I love you so much it hurts.

THING ONE: Hey mom?
MRSFATASS: Yep.
THING ONE: Now that Christmas is over, can I start telling you what I want for my birthday?
MRSFATASS: Absolutely.
*******************************
There have been so many moments this year. So many of our tribe members wrestling with these issues of love, of loss, of everything changing because of someone taking a final breath. And so many of these moments have brought out the best in people. So many of these crappy situations have taught us to live more authentically, laugh loudly, and to dance our way through because there is incredible beauty in pain. To avert your eyes is to miss out.
FitBloggin’ 15 is just 6 short months away. I again have the privilege of planning our Zumba dance party! This year I propose that we dance not only in celebration of that which is joyous, but that we dance to honor the painful times of our tribe. To lean on each other and lift each other up. To demonstrate what we mean when we say #tribelove.

You bring your thoughts and memories and touchstones. I’ll bring music, and once again assemble a group of friends to help me lead this special class. And we’ll take an hour to honor those we love and those we’ve lost, like only we can. Together.

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{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

DubyaWife January 5, 2015 at 10:27 am

It’s moments like these that truly make us feel how wonderful it is to be alive and to celebrate our lives.

<3 So much love, Sue, so much love to you.

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Deb Roby January 5, 2015 at 11:07 am

#tribelove is real.

I sat with my feelings yesterday, wondering… if I were die next minute, how would my friends know? I’m not sure there is anyone who knows to tell you all. But know I love you all.

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Heather H (@YummySushiPjs) January 5, 2015 at 11:25 am

And…crying. I love you, I love this post. I love your parenting. I love the FitBloggin tribe. LOVE. ALL THE LOVE.

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Thea @ It's Me Vs. Me January 5, 2015 at 11:31 am

I can’t even. You know. Love. Yes.

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Marlene @Nosh My Way January 5, 2015 at 12:20 pm

Quite powerful and then the kid comes out and moves on to something else, just like that. I love being a kid. Thanks for sharing this and reminding us to be kind, thoughtful, and happy.

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lisa January 5, 2015 at 2:23 pm

totally made me cry with this one!!! I need a snuggle!

Reply

Liz January 5, 2015 at 3:56 pm

Sniffle. Who is cutting onions?

I adore you.

Reply

Kelly @ No Thanks to Cake January 5, 2015 at 10:09 pm

Tears! Looking forward to dancing it off in June! xoxo

Reply

Monica January 6, 2015 at 4:22 pm

This touched my heart. <3

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