Dear Thing One:
I can’t even believe it’s time to write you another birthday letter. When I kiss you goodbye tomorrow you’ll be my 8 year old, and when you come back to my wide open arms on Monday you’ll be a whole year older. Your last single digit age.
I look at you with your goofy crooked front tooth and your adorable longish hair that you like to flip and still see that sweet baby that used to love to dance to the theme song to Dallas. The kid who, at 4, told the pretty next door neighbor you were 7 because you wanted to impress her. The boy I covered in balloons one Halloween, making you go out dressed as a bunch of grapes when you would have much rather been a football player.
I can still see the baby in you when you’re sleeping, snuggled into the fleece blanket that you’ve dragged around your whole life. I slip into your room to wake you up in the mornings, and have to take a minute to just watch your chest move up and down like I used to do when you were a little baby burrito nestled in my arms as I rocked you to sleep at night. I can still hear the creak of the floor as we went back and forth and back and forth. And I would slow down bit by bit, thinking you were finally out, but just as soon as I’d start to lift you into your crib your eyes would fly open. And you would smile at me.
And we’d have to start all over again.
This year I’ve watched you grow out of so many of your baby fears. You like going on sleepovers. You can spend an entire weekend away from me now. And you no longer demand I turn on a night light. You jump into the deep end of the pool and you ride your bike in the street and you go knock on your buddy’s front door without me walking you over there to do all the talking for you.
And you read chapter books and can multiply and already know more about football and basketball than I ever will. You follow players more than you do teams, and you aren’t so easy to brainwash into being loyal to my favorites anymore. You’re your own boy with your own opinions, and I need to remember sometimes when ours are clashing that I should sit back and just listen. Because you are incredibly smart and well spoken and I know I’ve said this before, but I’m quite convinced that there is a writer in there somewhere.
Sometimes I take advantage of that old soul of yours and treat you like you’re more grown up than you really are. I’m sorry, Thing One, that you’ve had to see Mommy cry. That you’ve heard your parents argue. That you’ve known something was wrong. Your Daddy and me, we’ve wanted so much to protect you from the things that have caused us turmoil, and I know that sometimes we’ve failed. We love you fiercely, and I hope in your heart you feel that. I think you do.
This year you suffered through your first agonizing crush on a movie star, had your first real falling out with a friend, and gotten your first letter grades on a report card. You also got in your first real fight while protecting your sister. All in all, I’d say you’re right on track.
And after request after request after request for a baby brother, I finally responded. Much as I’d like to give you one, it’s not going to happen. But I think you’ll be happier with your puppy than you would really be with another sibling. Even a puppy that farts all the time and occasionally tries to hump you.
It will be hard not to be with you on your actual birthday, but I know you’ll be surrounded with love. And I’ll be here when you get back to do it all again. Happy Birthday, Doodlebug. Mommy loves you.
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{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
I am 30 years old, and my Mom still calls me Doodlebug
So sweet!
You ever read something and then feel like a better person? Not because I did anything to improve myself but reading this has enriched my day very much. My oldest turns 6 in June and sometimes there are moments that I try to bury deep enough in my heart that they will still be there to look back on when she is all grown up. Happy Birthday to your not so little one anymore.
Now why should I well up? Its your kid!…blessed child…happy birthday.
Precious. So bittersweet and so precious. Hugs to you mama-bear.
He will always be your little one. My daughter’s 15th birthday was Tuesday. From the day we met,she 16months, me older , we knew we were meant to be together. It is a magical, messy thing mother’s love. You inspire me so much. Thank you for all of it. You rock.
You are such a good mommy Sue! xoxo
Hi there!
I’ve spent the last two hours reading as many of your blog entries as I could. I was thoroughly entertained (and when I say entertained, I mean I laughed so hard I nearly cried reading your posts about how you and your husband got engaged), enlightened, and inspired. My journey is similar to yours — I want to accept and love my body the way it is now, but I would also like to be healthier and get myself in shape. I’ve recently started blogging myself in the hopes of helping that process.
Congrats on your little girl’s birthday — she and your son are absolutely beautiful! I’ll definitely keep reading this blog, and I hope you’ll read mine! Your story has given me one more reason to keep going, one more person to prove to me that it’s possible and that I CAN DO THIS. Thank you for that.
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