i get that all the time

by MrsFatass on April 7, 2011

Speaking of Kettlebells . . .

I took another look at the schedule for Wednesday. There was more Zumba, but not until the evening, and while I could have just hit the treadmill for a run, I started thinking about the comments I got from you all about my noisy zumba experience. Things like “I am so proud of you” and “you are fantastic” and “lately I’ve been thinking of you and your whole ‘stepping out of your comfort zone’ thing”.

“Well, poop,” I thought to myself. “Now I have to go do it again.”

So out comes the gym schedule and I give it a looksee, and as it turns out I can make another lunchtime class. This one is called  Body Blast. And if that doesn’t shoot fear through your chest, the description said “a fast and fun class that will incorporate kettlebells, weights, bands, and whatever else she can put her hands on to make this class effective and fun. No two classes will be the same.” I know, right? Terrifying! But it was really the only thing that fit my schedule and the schedule of Mrs. Tim, who kindly took Thing Two for an hour so I could go blast my bod.

The class was listed to only be 35 minutes, and if you’ve been coming here a while you know that that little fact made me instantly cocky, that 35 minutes. I mean, heck, I should be able to do ANYTHING for 35 minutes! So I got there a little early and spent 15 minutes doing jogging intervals on the treadmill to warm up.

Ah, hubris.                                                                                 

Then I bebop into the same sticky floor room, this time leaving my shoes on, and come face to face with my instructor, a woman of probably 5’10 and maybe 120 pounds. And she’s one of those IN YOUR FACE ALL ABOUT THE CARDIO people. Seriously, I think I heard her use the word cardio about 50 times before class started. Bottom line? The first class was going to be kettlebells, which is great both for CARDIO and sculpting.

She also wore a heart rate monitor and gave us frequent updates on how many calories she was burning. I’m still not sure how I feel about that.

And she starts out with a warmup just to get our hearts pumping. And by warmup? She totally meant LET THE ASSKICKING BEGIN. I mean, we did a few that could be called a warmup, but before I knew it, I was swinging a 10 lb kettlebell through my legs, which if you didn’t already know is an area dangerously close to my hoohah. First we’re swinging it holding it with two hands, and squatting and standing. And then we’re changing hands on the upswing, so like for a split second it just hangs there in the air assuming it will eventually be grabbed before plunging to the floor. Or into the mirror in the front of the room. And we’re doing rows. And we’re doing lunges. And we’re doing bicep presses. And this weird move where we are kind of whipping it around our heads.

And then the music finally changes and she says “Alright, you should be all warmed up. Let’s get started!”

Holy crapballs.

Basically the next 15 minutes or so is a repeat of most of those moves, but with many more reps and much more groaning. And panting. And turning red. And there were a couple of moments here and there where I’m pretty sure I got lightheaded and maybe felt like I wanted to barf, but the room was spinning to much to know for sure. At least this time nobody handed me anything that jingled, though. Note to self: next time, maybe skip the 15 minute run beforehand.

The last move we did before getting on the floor to do abs was a move called a snatch. Now, I may be a kettlebell novice, but I have spent a fair amount of time on The Twitter snickering about the move they call the Snatch. So she demonstrates, and she tries to give me a warning about how to not let the kettlebell flip back and smack me on the wrist and I get into position and I do a set.

And you know what she said?

“Nice snatch!”

And you know what I said?

“Yeah, I get that all the time.”

I did. I really said that.

And that was number 3 of 7. Lord I hope I make it through this week.

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{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }

Miz April 7, 2011 at 6:31 am

Good lord I adore you.


Miranda April 7, 2011 at 7:28 am

Ummm the epitome of #WINNING!


workout mommy April 7, 2011 at 8:05 am

LOVE it!!! what did the instructor do/say?
I do have to chime in though and say that 10 lbs is way too light for swings!! Next time I want to read that you picked up that 20 lb’er! No worries, your hoohah will be just fine. 🙂


Sue F April 7, 2011 at 8:08 am

Hee hee – genius!! Weights and cardio terrify me more than any other beast … the number of times I’ve attempted a new circuits class and nearly died is .. well, actually, probably not enough. Anyhoo – good work!


anne h April 7, 2011 at 8:49 am

That’s the best line yet!
My trainer said “We can stop it if hurts.”
And I whispered to myself “That’s what she said!”
Fun with Fitness, eh?


Angela Pea April 7, 2011 at 9:03 am

Oh! I can only wish I could spit out a comeback like that! (I don’t think of good ones until hours later.)

You so totally Rock!


Laura Belle April 7, 2011 at 9:27 am

LOL! I love it. I busted out in a huge gigle when I read your ‘yeah, I get that all the time’ comment! Freaking Hilarious!


Jack Sh*t April 7, 2011 at 9:37 am

I’ve already had my fun at your “Nice snatch” line, so I’ll just chime in that I love seeing you shift this entire thing into high gear. Can’t wait to see where you go from here…


KCLAnderson (Karen) April 7, 2011 at 10:13 am

We’re gonna have to compare snatches at some point 😉


A Girl Who Loves Cupcakes April 7, 2011 at 11:29 am

I just have to say that I totally love your face and I am never trying kettle bells because I would totally hurt myself. LOL!


merri April 7, 2011 at 6:05 pm

Oooh body blast sounds fun! I like using props in classes. Oh no wait, reading further, I take that back. That class sounds scary. The kind of class I’d leave. And she’s reading out how many calories SHE burned? Why? Shes the instructor, it’s not about her. There are some teachers at the gym who are just scary. I love kickboxing, but once I tried another instructor’s kickbox class at the same gym, and she was so annoying scary overgungho that I left in the middle of it. And when I see that she’s subbing for my teacher, I just don’t go. Instructors really count. I am very impressed that you did the entire 35 min! and with a great comeback too!


Coco April 7, 2011 at 7:57 pm

I’m not sure which comment I’m laughing harder at, yours or Karen’s. And, Anne, I’m afraid of my reaction the next time I go to the dentist!

So did you enjoy?


Kimberley April 7, 2011 at 9:04 pm

Hahahahahhahahahaaahahahaa! You are a woman after my own heart!


Laurie April 7, 2011 at 9:08 pm

Nice snatch. I just felt like repeating that!


Emily April 8, 2011 at 1:54 pm



Colleen April 8, 2011 at 9:14 pm

LOL nice come back!

Sounds amazing I love kettle bells! did you enjoy the class?


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