To begin, I pretty much still cover up a lot of what’s simmering beneath the surface with snark. That hasn’t changed. But I will say that 2010 has been the year of reinvention. As I try to break out of that yummy, comfy buttdent on my sofa and get on with life, I find that I get the best work done when I am stressed, freaked, nervous, embarrassed. Basically in my Discomfort Zone. I do it at the gym 5-6 days a week, for example. Like, I learned how to use an elliptical (note to the newbies: the machine is not broken. In order to choose your program you have to start moving your feet. Don’t switch machines. Learn from my humiliations) and I Zumba once or twice a week and I jog every other day. And I do most of these things in a place where other people can see me.
That’s huge, the power of the Discomfort Zone.
I also do it in school. I mean, I started Nursing School! The Land of Lab Partners Born The Year I Graduated High School. YIKES! And I do it in my writing. I mean, if all this talk of bodily functions and hoo-hahs isn’t enough, I’m also acting like A Writer. Like, as in writing things other than this blog. I’m doing it in my relationships, sorting out some messy old ones, trying to get right some messy new ones, and basically just trying to stop hiding behind the FIDGET and connecting with people I love. I’m going to come out of this year different than I went in. It’s taken 36 years, but finally I am finding comfort in NOT being exactly like everybody else.
Discomfort? Is good.
Moving on, I am getting better at making myself a priority from time to time. Finding little ways to recharge on a daily basis (#TubTimeWithMrsFatass anyone?) and not just burning myself out and then relying on a quiet weekend or a vacation to give me my zest for life back. I mean, we all know how the last long-weekend getaway started out. If that was my only means for battling stress and recharging, well, I think I’d be posting this from my padded cell in my XXL straightjacket.
I did rock my BIO class. I did not finish writing my book. I am a skosh better at returning phone calls and emails. A skosh. But I was really never bad about telling my folks I love them, or hugging my kids. Those were kind of filler. Don’t hate.
I have made connections with people I care about. You know who you are.
I have let somebody make a connection with the real me, not just the me I pretend to be in order to appear in Women’s Health Australia magazine. Again, you know who you are.
And . . . I have started doing MORE CARDIO. The key to all of this. MORE CARDIO.
I give myself a solid B on the year so far.
The other thing I said to myself in that letter is that I want this to be the last year of having weight to lose. I have 6 months in which to get this part right. Still doable, but not without much focus and effort. I’m thinking I have it in me, though. Do you?
Alrighty then. Your turn. Today is the first day of the rest of your year.