a watched pot

by MrsFatass on May 5, 2010

So, as usual, I blogged about something deeply personal and embarrassing. And again, I wondered (just after hitting publish) if this was the topic that took the step over the line. And again I am just blown away by the outpouring from you guys. Apparently The Roy is an issue with lots of folks, not just me, though it does seem that I am the only one to take a needle in the ass and then tell the whole world about it.

Anyhow, many comments and emails and questions and a very interesting (and public) twitter conversation about the benefits of washing your ass with Aveda Rosemary Mint shampoo later, it all boils down to this: Just when you think you are weird or crazy or all alone in something? Turns out you’re not.

Yesterday was not the prettiest for me, and I’m pretty sure I wasn’t supposed to take quite that much Vicodin (or colace for that matter), and as it turns out, the post I wrote ended up being the first in a series of THREE total visits to the ER, and before it was over I ended up getting a shot each of Morphine AND Dilauded and I prefer Dilauded, well? I think we’ve turned a corner. I really think I’m going to be okay. Even my pride might eventually recover.

But for now I’m being watched like a pot of water because, until I poo, I am not considered totally On The Mend. Anyone want to join me for coffee and a nice bran muffin?

Post to Twitter Post to Facebook Post to StumbleUpon

{ 25 comments… read them below or add one }

Anonymous May 5, 2010 at 6:37 am

Well, I'm afraid I have to say "bless your heart" what a rough time! I hope you feel better soon!

Also, I totally cringed and squirmed in my seat when I read you have to poo. 🙁


Aylilth May 5, 2010 at 6:47 am

Aww you poor thing.

Hope it gets sorted soon. I know what it's like after my recent operation, the dr's and nurses kept asking me if I had been toilet yet and what happened while I was in there.

But as you said after kids, everything is out the window.

Now here's a glass of prune juice, should help ya 😛


Skinny Coffin May 5, 2010 at 6:48 am

As I was reading your post, I was, in fact, dropping a couple of my own kids off at the pool as a show of sympathy and solidarity. Keep that chin up!


Joanna Sutter May 5, 2010 at 7:05 am

You are a brave, brave woman. I hope you get things moving soon. 😉


Tonyne @ Unlikely Success Story May 5, 2010 at 7:22 am

I am sending you productive poo vibes! Poor thing! Bless your heart! 😉


Donna May 5, 2010 at 7:32 am

Hope you're all better soon! Gives a new meaning to 'hotass,' huh? (trying to make you laugh) Take care!


ShrinkingGirl May 5, 2010 at 7:36 am

Well crap… I mean… shoot… sounds like you've had a tough go of it. I hope you feel better soon. I'll be rooting for the proper functioning of your land down under!


Marisa (Loser for Life) May 5, 2010 at 7:37 am

Aw, Sue. I wish you good poo. (that's the extent of my rhyming skills).

Hugs and healing hiney vibes 🙂


Crystal May 5, 2010 at 8:26 am

awwww… for as silly as the post was to read, it really is a serious issue… i'm so sorry and hope you feel better soon


Kyle Gershman May 5, 2010 at 10:39 am

Here's to you dropping a load and getting the full medical green light…you are one special lady…believe me.


amoslionhorse May 5, 2010 at 10:40 am

oh my, if i were you, i'd be scared sh*tless to have to poo right about now!

i'm fighting my own Roy right now, but it's hopefully not going to reach needleworthy…ever.

**bless your heart** and enjoy the drugs while they last.. wait.. painkillers constipate, don't they?? drink LOTS AND LOTS of water, please!


MaryFran May 5, 2010 at 10:48 am

Good luck with that poo!!!


cmoursler May 5, 2010 at 11:27 am

Think I'd be taking ex lax and suckin down water…*bless you heart..
I think you may have a catch phrase. lol.
Feel better.


Laura May 5, 2010 at 12:06 pm

LOL! I really feel for ya! Well not quite, but I hope you feel better soon! (By that I mean I hope the bran muffin helps!)


Tasha May 5, 2010 at 6:36 pm

OMG!! I hope all goes well so to speak. I know what you mean about "I’ve had babies. Thus my dignity left me long long ago." Ever since then, even pap tests are about as stressful as buying an ice cream cone! Best of luck! (Really enjoy your blog by the way!)


Miz May 6, 2010 at 5:07 am

maaaaaaaaaaaan what Id not do to join you in that java and muffin in person!


99ToGo May 6, 2010 at 12:31 pm

A genius newbie GYN who performed one of my pelvic exams thought my Roy was an STD. Yes, really. I had no legit reason to have any sort of STD, but she was baffled. I sought a second opinion from a GYN who also had OB experience, and she laughed when she took a lookie. Apparently, my pre-baby Roy was nothing compared to the post-baby Roys she was used to seeing. Wonder what she'd say to me now, that I've pushed out two over-8 lb. babies?


KCLAnderson (Karen) May 6, 2010 at 12:54 pm

Hugs…that's it, just hugs. And Aveda Rosemary Mint Shampoo 😉


Caroline May 6, 2010 at 4:24 pm

Awww, you poor thing. I can't imagine the pain if they gave you Dilaudid (good stuff!). Sending Fiber 1 vibes your way!


Tami May 6, 2010 at 8:05 pm

You poor thing, it goes from bad to worse.

Wishing you a speedy recovery.


Laurie May 6, 2010 at 8:24 pm

Think of all the weight you could lose from colace.
I'm just looking at the bright side 🙂
Happy Crapping!


The Insatiable Host May 6, 2010 at 9:39 pm

Hello Dahling! I would like to tell you a story about poo. This is sharing a lot more than I tend to share…oh wait…no it's not really.
anyhow, so after kid #3 I had cracked my ass. Like I pushed, he cried and my tailbone went CRAAACK. This then caused a lot of reason to take tylenol and whatever they wanted to give my IV…it also caused the same sort of "backlog". well after I could walk and had stopped taking the tylenol laced with codeine, I couldn't crap.

you're a mother, you know that that first time you need to have a movement is a religous calling – now imagine this pain, fear and angst that was going on…it took 3 weeks…
i said 3 weeks deary…to move. I looked 12 months pregnant after giving birth 3 weeks ago….I also was so soar that I couldn't even pass wind without going into a friggin fit of rage.

The aswer…Colace!!!! Let me tell you something…I am not the type of girl who as Charolette (Sex in the City) would call "Mrs. Up the Butt (at all)" but I almost feel that the trauma that occured was similar.

My thoughts are with you and I hope to goodness that you feel better. Now, you aren't alone with sharing things 🙂

HOpe you are great!!!!



Results Not Typical Girl May 6, 2010 at 10:22 pm

i thought the whole purpose of blogging was to embarrass ourselves? didn't you get the memo? the other day, i blogged about a recipe that shares a name with a pornography career. what a spamulous day that was! hope everything comes out as planned .

hugs, kirsten


Results Not Typical Girl May 6, 2010 at 10:41 pm


consider yourself officially added to my blogroll.

guess that means you pass the "writing in complete sentences as a smart ass" test.

sorry to say ass. i know it's a sore subject right now…

har. dee. har. har.



sanjeet May 15, 2010 at 11:12 am

I totally cringed and squirmed in my seat when I read you have to poo. 🙁
post free classifieds


Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: